I wrote this poem a mere hours before Pepper passed away on Saturday. It was a way from me to express gratitude to those that have been holding me up with such sincere and reliable love and support.
It also was a moment for me to realize who my true tribe is. And who are no longer in the mix. A heartbreaking sadness, to see those who you thought were "lifers" have thrown a dagger of disappointment in to this already sad scenario.
A special shoutout to those angels that I have never met, but that social media has allowed for such a connection, such a bond. All of you have been so wonderful.
Also to my husband, who shows me everyday what marriage is all about, and why it's the most beautiful and precious of gems. Who makes me laugh when I want to pout, who holds me when I'm not cute. :)
To all of you. that have been here for me. I am so so grateful and you have kept me going. It's a beautiful thing. This is for you.
-C
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Permission
Friends, I give you permission to not know what to say
To feel my pain even though you know it will be ok
To try and avoid the cliches of support
Even tho that’s all that greets your lips when your shoulder is holding court
My loved ones, it’s ok to not know what to do
Watching me fall to pieces, to not feel like my glue
Hearing me cry and mourn is clearly no fun
But I promise, solace I find in your presence as I become undone
In technology, love exists
All the words and messages through social media, I see it persist
Every LIKE, heart, word, and feeling
Fills the gashes this heartache is searing
For my sweet souls who I’ve never met
Who’ve taken the time to catch me in their net
Your gesture collects each tear that I cry
Like a soothing song, a chicken soup lullaby
Your silence is warmly received in your helpless arms where I collapse
Where I find love when I feel bleak, air when I frantically gasp
Where I feel consoled by your presence, near and far
When in those moments, the healing begins to create a scar
Surviving this heartache, reaching for the happiest of goals
Something I can not do without you, my beautiful treasures, the dearest of souls
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